I am shocked now that I thought this was not such a big deal. I think I am pretty smart, right? How hard can this be? I thought I would wait until our baby girl was older to worry about "doing" her hair.
When family and friends first heard about Arielle, they would ask me " How are you going to "do" her hair?" I knew that it was different to care for African American hair. I read the articles but I thought that most of the hair care discussions were aimed at older kids that could sit in a chair for 20 minutes at a clip. So, I tried all sorts of shampoos and conditioners. I was a little surprised that our local Target and Walgreen's did not carry much selection for African American hair. I found better selection at stores in suburbs that were more integrated (Oak Park, Forest Park, Bolingbrook) and city stores.
I told myself we would do the "Au natural" or "Afro" look. I settled on some products I liked. ( i will list some that I use on my next post and if you can recommend any, please post them!) Once a week, I would shampoo and condition her hair and giving her a "blow out" after with a big soft brush helped make the hair longer which helped me style it better. I tried deep conditioning caps (it was hard to get her to leave it on for one hour) but I could leave the conditioner on at least and then rinse that out. I put product in her hair every morning and would comb it out or through with a pick.
I kept my eyes out for little bows with metal backs so she couldn't pull them off and cool headbands. I had a hard time finding little plastic bows for babies or little girls with little hair and little rubber bands until I found some beauty supplies stores that carried more African American products in the city.
Arielle has eczema, not unlike other African American children and she scratches a lot! I was worried about the harm the products would have on her skin. So I tried all sorts of stuff, getting heavier and oilier as time went on.
I would make sure she had a good layer of Aquaphor on her skin at all times to keep any products from bothering her.
So her style was the natural hair with a bow. She is so cute and I got a lot of compliments from the white suburban residents in our town but when we were in the city or out and about where there were more African American people I noticed she did not look quite like those little girls! My own doctor, who is African American said something to me about her hair appearing to be "dry". I thought I was putting so much lotion in it!
Then, I decided I could do the braiding myself. It would take me over the course of two days to get her whole head done while she was eating or snacking. But the hair did not look right and it was pretty challenging getting her to sit!!!
I got the message loud and clear that it is not something that can be put off. Even though Arielle is only 2 1/2, wherever we go, I would get comments and advice. Everyone had something else to say. When we were at Red Lobster in Lombard or Uncle Julio's in the city at the zoo, African American women would come up to me and ask me if Arielle was "ours" and then ask me if I know about her "hair". They offered great advice and everyone had a different product to recommend. Sometimes, I felt defensive and started to explain, that yes, I know not to wash her hair every day and that I do put lotion in her hair every morning and use the pick or the wide tooth comb but mostly I just listened. I think it was after the Red Lobster incident or maybe it was finally seeing little children less than 2 at the zoo with way more hair that I decided I clearly was missing something!! How did their mommies get their hair that way? Why did it seem that those little girls had MORE hair?
There is a great documentary from 2009 called Good Hair with Chris Rock. He said he was prompted to make this documentary about the importance of hair in the African Women's culture after one day his 5 year old daughter asked him, "Daddy, why don't I have good hair?". Good hair is important in my daughter,s culture. It is a 9 billion dollar industry! Natural hair is not where it is at today in her society. In fact, it is still looked down upon by her sisters. It might not be enough to keep "winging it", I needed more help.
Read on to my next post for what I did and tips for hair care for your African American children.....
Some Products that I have liked:
Just For Me! line : Hair Milk, shampoo and conditioner
Organic Olive Oil, Deep Conditioning Treatment packets and Olive Oil Oil
Shea Butter Conditioning Shine (for scalp) Jamaican Mango and Lime
Cornrow and Braid Revitalizer (Organics brand) They also have a cornrow and braid shampoo.
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